You CAN and SHOULD Prioritize Yourself. Here’s How I Do It.
Self-love is a journey. If the first step is knowing your worth, the second step is prioritizing yourself.
I get it-you’re busy. We all have a ton of shit going on in our lives. Between work or school, family obligations, social outings, etc., I’ll be the first to admit it can often feel like we barely have 20 minutes to eat lunch during the day or walk our dog, let alone take time just for ourselves.
But TRUST ME when I say, putting yourself first is the key to being the best version of yourself. It’s the exact opposite of being selfish. Making yourself number one in YOUR life, makes you able to be number one for other people in THEIR lives.
It won’t happen overnight. Take it step by step. For me, it started by making choices every day that align with my goals. Here are four ways I prioritize myself every single day:
I TAKE MY MORNING ROUTINE VERRRRY SERIOUSLY.
Like really seriously. I wake up at 7:00am or a little before so I can give myself two hours minimum to go through my self-care routine. It’s non-negotiable. My morning routine consists of: hot water with lemon, a cup of coffee with my mom’s homemade coconut milk. Harassing my puppy Mercer and then 45 minutes of online shopping. I can’t even really call it shopping because rarely do I ever buy anything, I just have this weird LOVE for making shopping carts. It’s my thing, and I’m definitely not going to apologize for it—more on that later.
Some people say I’m crazy, but having a strict routine works for me. It helps me clear my head each morning so I can be the best version of myself throughout the rest of the day. Before I started taking these two hours for myself, I tended to wake up late and I’d spend my entire day feeling like I was catching up instead of being present.
I WRITE OUT POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.
When I’m with clients, I always ask them to tell me, “what’s going well.” They often start with something small, like making the bed or grocery shopping for the week, but this usually leads to them recognizing more and more good things that have happened throughout their week. Positivity has a very real snowball effect. IMO, writing things down makes it even MORE real.
They’re tangible reminders to LOVE myself. And by the way, I don’t restrict myself to “realistic” ones either. I go WILD with them - because the only person I need permission from is ME.
Recently, I write out things like:
If we say it, it will manifest.
I SET BOUNDARIES.
I’ve learned how to say NO. And I refuse to feel guilty or shameful about it. Something I’m currently working on is shutting off. I cook dinner every night and I absolutely LOVE it, so I’m actively trying to stop working by 7:00pm, so I can focus on cooking and on spending time with my fiancé. Be unapologetically OK with doing what you need for yourself. It’s like my online shopping carts. I’m not exactly sure why I need it as part of my morning routine, but I do, so I go with it. Your gut instinct is your best friend. When you realize that, you realize you have complete control over your life. It’s not up to anyone else.
I KEEP A GRATITUDE LIST.
Above all, I always always always bring myself back down to earth by being grateful for what I have RIGHT NOW. Not what I want, what I think I need, or what I’m going to get in the future. What I have right now. This is what I have in my life and these are the people around me who support me. Sometimes that’s all it takes to realize how rich our lives really are.
Prioritizing yourself allows everything else in your life to become stronger. It’s as simple as that. And you’re worthy. Little well-formed outcomes, attainable goals, are the keys to making it happen. If you achieve a collection of little goals, it’s motivating. You’re able to FOCUS on all the good you’re doing and providing yourself, rather than everything that’s stopping you or keeping you stuck. You focus on what’s going well, instead of succumbing to the opposite and fixating on what’s not going well.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you fucking deserve it. When you prioritize yourself, you start to truly BELIEVE you deserve more and more and more and more. And once you believe it, you make it happen.